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One of the great aspirations of parents is that their children grow up in a happy environment and develop fully. To do this, they must find the ideal way to set limits and norms in their education.
Parents use these limits and norms as a guide to educate and find solutions to their children's behaviors. Thus, the way children behave will be a direct consequence of the type of responses that parents give to these behaviors of children. Nevertheless, we must be aware of the mistake of prohibiting children too much.
Many times, parents unconsciously use behaviors that harm children's self-esteem rather than help them. There are situations in which the intervention of adults in an objective manner will be necessary and they will have to prohibit behaviors in children due to the existence of a real danger.
But there are situations in which parents prevent these behaviors. These are the reasons:
- Driven by fear and protectionism. The desire of parents is to protect them from disappointments, frustrations and upsets. Driven by these fears and negative beliefs, children will be raised to the idea that there are dangerous things to avoid. This makes them learn to be insecure and dependent.
- The "no" culture. Most of those who are now fathers and mothers have grown up in an environment where the word has not had much influence. Don't do this, don't get on, don't go there, etc. Hearing it is customary so it no longer sounds weird. This fact makes prohibiting a matter of manners and standardized authority.
- The impact of the ban is unknown. Many times the repercussions that prohibition may have is unknown. These are: lack of self-esteem, dependence, not developing autonomy, anger and withdrawal of children from their parents. Therefore, when parents make the decision to prohibit things, they should do so in moderation to avoid negative consequences for positive or normal behaviors that the child has.
- Be an example. You have to be consistent with what you ask your children for. If you want to teach a series of values, you have to lead by example.
- Use the Yes. Banish the continuous use of no in everyday life and only use it for important issues.
- Reflection. You have to think about the importance of the ban and what will contribute or stop contributing that decision.
- Positive discipline. That is, to set limits firmly but respecting both parties: adults and children, at the same time.
- Give options. Children should be given options and shown reasonable alternatives.
- Negotiate. From serenity and respect, agreements can be generated that commit to comply with both parties
You can read more articles similar to The mistake of prohibiting children too much, in the category of Conduct on site.